Wednesday, October 5, 2011

At a Crossroads

A Note I posted to Facebook this evening:

My head feels like it's going to explode because of the amount of information, opportunities, and blessings I have been given over my short and small life.  All sorts of beautiful things have manifested within my heart and mind because of all of these things, and because of those I know very well, where I've been, and what I have witnessed.  It fills my heart and my soul with such glorious light that I'm convinced it's all a brand new feeling.  If it weren't for all the cracks and imperfections I've received from hard times, I would not know or feel now that I am filled with some sort of light.  In my mind I'm allowing this great amount of emotion to just explode out onto a canvas, filling it with the colors and designs I can never create with my own hands; it's only the imagination of God.  I only wish to be able to do or to build something as beautiful as the thoughts and dreams God brings to me; I wish I could convey them as a feeling to everyone.  

My life has changed dramatically within the past few months.  As a graduate, I'm not technically tied down to anything... unless I choose to be.  Which is where I find myself now at a crossroads.  What do I do now?  Who am I supposed to be?  I always felt like getting through college would give me the majority of answers on how to live your life.  But I'm seeing lately how untrue that is; a degree didn't tell me where to live, or what kind of person to be to other people.  It didn't tell me what I should wear or who I should make my friends.  It didn't tell me how often to call my parents or if I'm meant to do something completely different.  I will say though, that because of people I knew while at school, and the moral lessons taught and conveyed there, I am who I am now.  I look back 5 years into my life, and that girl had no idea the sort of things coming for her.  Can I convince my current self that my future self will be ok, and in the safe hands of God no matter where she is?

After a good friend conveyed to me that she felt all we were ever called to do was to evangelize, it occured to me that evangelize could have multiple meanings; a different meaning for every person possibly.  Evangelists are by definition, someone who spreads the gospel; delivers a message.  The gospel in itself is so many things: it is God's example to us of how we are to love Him and to love others.  It helps create a sort of link between us and God, so that we can see (because as humans we learn by example) that God way is the right way, because He loves us so much.  God went through extremes to show us His love, and proved that it is possible for love to beat out every other burden or tormentor we each have weighing on our souls.  So, if that is the gospel, then we simply have to share that with anyone we encounter.  

Since I was a young girl I believed being an evangelist meant standing in front of hundreds of people with my Bible and heart open, speaking the things God has said in His word, and encouraging large amounts of people I didn't know to come to God.  As a shy and sheltered child, this would upset me because I didn't believe I could ever do that!  It rattled my anxiety and made me afraid to be commanded with such a heavy responsibility.  I'd be in tears because after having thoughts of "I can't do that" I felt that I would be letting God down my entire life.  Even to this day this hammered-in belief that that was what evangelists were is still engrained in my mind, and I have not grown to believe that I could ever be capable of such an important leadership.  But, my mother would hug me closely to comfort me and would say "Well that doesn't mean you have to stand on the street corner with a sign saying 'Come to God'!"  She could see what was on my heart, and knew that I only wanted to do something for God.  What I didn't realize at that age is that I wasn't necessarily meant to be the one standing behind the pulpit in front of large crowds.  I look at what I have become in my life so far, and I don't think that I was meant for that position.  This is where I come to think that being "evangelical" is something different (but in the same context) for every person.

So then in light of this, what is it that God is making me into?  Am I supposed to be here in this location?  Am I supposed to start a family?  Or am I meant to simply work humbly and serve those around me for a time?  This reminds me of a book I read: A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers.  It went through 5 stories about women who were in the lineage of Christ, the last one being Mary, mother of Jesus.  From Mary's point of view, she knows from the moment she becomes pregnant that Jesus is the Son of God, and has so much trouble his entire life to try to not convince him to begin his teachings and ministry already.  She constantly asks him if he knows who he is, and if he knows what he is meant to do.  No matter what her persuasive case is, he always says "It is not my time."  Even though he did know when his time was, he was patient and maybe struggled with that because he was human.  I feel like Mary, wanting to make her son's purpose in life begin immediately.  It is hard for me to not constantly question what I'm supposed to do months from now, years from now, or to not make things happen before God has planned for them to.  

For now, I know that I am blessed and that I'm in a good and secure place.  But what if it's something insecure that will truly bring me to trust God and let him have everything?  There are decisions I could make that would really turn life upside down and freak me out, but am I brave enough to take those risks?  Can I convince myself of the smallness of my world as it is right now; there is more to see and to know around the entire world.  I wish I could believe that I was capable of taking such large steps into the unknown.  Is there a way I could think in the way of "Him who is able to do immeasureably more than all we ask or imagine"?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Well hello and welcome to my first posting in months!  Because I'm bad at keeping up with this blog, and I'm lucky enough to have free time AND my brain reminding me that I haven't written in forever!  Yuzah!  Some big events have occurred in the past few months; we've gotten through the summer which included another evening at the GlassyAlley for the FFAT.  I also had the chance to participate in the June Saturday Art Market at the Tornado Gallery in the Depot District of our lovely city, and then experienced the disheartening task of having to repair some of my inventory.  But things have gotten better since that incident, and better opportunities have arisen because of it.  I've got some new cards and new ideas, and now onto sharing them:

My booth at the August FFAT, with my new door card-rack

So after this show above, an unexpected rain storm hit Lubbock one night.  In the moment, this storm was a major blessing because our area, only a small part of the entire area in Texas being affected by the worst drought in over a century, was immensely dry and had had grass fires along with fires that destroyed property and homes all summer.  A few days later though I visited the gallery and my booth had been rained on; a major leak through the roof of the gallery.  So...a little cleanup took place, and the ripping apart of some items, mostly flowers.  One canvas ended up needing to be taken apart, and I'll soon fix it up all brand new.  

Tearing some of my damaged paper flowers from their stems.  Ended up playing "He loves me,  he loves me not" to help my heartbroken feelings of having to destroy my own art.  It's hard to do!  But at the same time, it did feel great to tear something apart haha.

Empty stems, awaiting some new petals.
 And some new card designs:

So there's an update of what has been happening with Dollmark!  I'll post soon about my sponsorship with the Cowtown Indie Bazaar, and some of my new plans for designs and the business.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Markets in Ukraine and Greece

I recently returned from the country of Ukraine and Greece for a mission trip with my school's choir. In Ukraine we visited Kyiv, the capital, and Poltava. In Kyiv, we visited the most historical part of the city, where the main road spirals upwards on the hill, the street is made of large stones, and a small market lines the side of the street. It was exactly what I was waiting to see!
Eggs are a big thing over in Ukraine and Russia, but these were especially beautiful. Each are hand painted with cultural images and designs.

And the matryoshka dolls are my favorite thing to browse! There were hundreds, and though in their country they're considered tourist souvenirs, my family loves to collect them. So I grabbed a few for my mom, and got a few pictures.

Then we visited Athens, Greece, and a few blocks from our hotel was a bazaar. The first and BIGGEST bazaar I've ever seen! It was 1 by 3 blocks long. Dozens of stalls were lined up, and hundreds of people were exploring and shopping, and taking it all in is hard to do. Many stalls were manufactured items from the cultures of other countries, but there was the occasional stand of handmade items (mostly jewelry).

It was a very enjoyable trip, and I really miss being in Europe. I would have spent more time in these markets, but being in a group we had to stick with them. Glad to share some of my experiences in Ukraine and Greece!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Oh I've been lookin' forward to May...

This month is so busy! The monthly agenda is as follows:

  • 2 more finals in the next 2 days

  • Graduation

  • Parents anniversary

  • Mom's birthday

  • Mothers day

  • Mission to Ukraine and Greece

  • Making wedding stuff and art market display stuff

  • Trip to San Francisco, CA with my Mom and Aunt

  • Friend's wedding right after!

So I'm pretty stoked about this month, it will truly be very exciting and bittersweet.

After May though, I'll be working on my to-do list for my business plan.

  • Tax paperwork/ filing

  • Logo copyright

  • possible new picture settings

  • more concrete line of basic cards

  • Art Market display

  • Choosing which products are the main lines, concentrate on those

  • Attempting to zone in on my shop's "look" (mainly finding a "genre" to fit into)

  • making more contacts, talking business with them

  • and I'll think of more later...

My to-do list is set, and I can't wait to get started. But as for now, I have 2 more projects and then I need to get myself graduated. I'm so excited about graduating!!!

New treasury about the drought here in Texas. Check it out!

Saturday, April 23, 2011


It's almost time for graduation! I've got less than two weeks until I'm a college graduate. It's been a long time, and a lot of work, and I'm so ready! So here are some of my latest orders: graduation invitations. I made a set with the LCU Chap, and another with the plain logo.

Then here are my own: made with the Generation Tech stack from DCWV. It fits my major perfectly; it even has binary! They bring out my inner geeky chic!

Graduation will be bittersweet, but all good things must come to an end. There will hopefully be more opportunities for me in the future for my career and for this business. I'll be working on a business plan, and getting ready to join in on an art market here in Lubbock, finally!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

My Current Abandonment of Crafting...

I've unfortunately had to make the decision to hault on crafting anything... and that means anything, until I've completed the majority of the big projects I have to complete for school. Cause, you know, I'm graduating and all! I absolutely can't wait for May 7th to arrive! So as this no-crafting-rule continues for me, I figured an update of what I worked on a couple weeks ago would be appropriate.

Two weeks ago 2 really good friends of mine got married, and on their 3 year anniversary. It was precious, and it was the first wedding I've ever been in. So I was excited, not only for my friends, but for the fact that I could make stuff for it... oh so much stuff. This is the same bride I made the paper bouquet for back in December. Well, she has to have a lingerie shower and a bachelorette party right??? So why not make some cute favors?

These were a spur-of the moment idea the night before I left for the wedding. They're simple little pins for the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids to wear. I used all the leftover paper I had from her invitations and made the paper rosettes, then used cut-up cupcake liners for the blue layer to add some different texture. Then attached colored ribbon to the back, placed the labels lined with glitter, and a pin latch on the back. I was very happy with these, and I hope to advertise these for other wedding parties (or just regular parties!).

Then I had found these adorable explosion boxes on a blog I read (I sadly can't remember where :( ... ). Each girl got one, and it was so much fun making these. It was also great to see how happy they were when they each started looking through them.

One of my favorite responses was: After she pulls the lid off, "Oh my, I think I broke it..."


But each box had pictures of the couple in black and white, along with the girls name, a print out of 1 Corinthians 13 on love, and the date of the wedding. I had also found the perfect paper for these: a soft shade of kelly green, light blue, silver, and butterflies. The Blossoms & Butterflies stack from DCWV had a few sheets of it. Perfecto!

Here are some pictures of the inside of a few boxes:

And on another note: what's one disaster every bride fears on her wedding day? Flowers aren't delivered? A bridesmaid falling flat on her face and needing stitches...on her face. Or it could be ... the cake. The absolute and bitter fact that the cake is one glorious disaster. I watched this very disaster pan out the morning of this wedding.

Essentially, she received a 3 tier white cake that #1 was the wrong order (she didn't ask for the rectangular base layer it had) and #2 it was sagging ... like ... as we came to call it: an elephants foot. It was horrifying. So: Team Re-do the Wedding Cake (me, friend Julie, and mother-of-the-bride) went into action and pumped out this miracle of God:

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Free Friday Night

At last, I have a free night. To do what I please. This has been a long ... long time coming.

So I decided to spend the evening with a friend and her fiance. The poor thing is really sick, and after weeks of being busy with school and theatre, and weeks of student teaching for her, we finally get the chance to hang out! All three of us worked on homework and projects, and I concentrated on a custom order.

It's been so very nice, and a nice change from my hectic stressful schedule.

A good friend, who has also been a great customer, has asked for her own vinyl decal for her Macbook. So this'll be my first one! I've made a couple different orders of vinyl decals, first for Camp Blue Haven, where I used to go as a child, and then for Kyodai, a social club on my campus. She's really into kitsch designs. So we decided on an owl ... I'll be adding on branches later on.

I've taken a break from it for awhile, and played around on Etsy Treasuries. Here's what I made tonight: inspired by one of my favorite places to go in Lubbock. And my favorite jazz quartet, the Alma Quartet, was there tonight but I unfortunately wasn't able to go. Wanted to go so so bad though...

Tomorrow is the last basketball game of the season at LCU, and the last time I'll play with the Royal Blue Band for a game. I'll miss it next year, but for now, I'm ready to take a break ... and get to crafting.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Wedding Bouquets

Wow! The end of February is coming up so quickly!

Yesterday, I figured out that I have 2 months of my college career left to go. Yikes! I'm so excited to graduate, but completely clueless as to what to do afterwards. I'll DEFINITELY be working much more on my cards, flower, and art, and I'll also be looking for a few places to sell on a regular basis. But for now ... some updates!

During Christmas break I worked on wedding invitations and the wedding party bouquets for a good friend of mine from freshman year. Her colors are a bright electric blue and a clover green (although the greens vary throughout). She adores butterflies, so those are everywhere.

These were the first invitations I've had the pleasure of making, and I think they came out pretty good for my first time. I made the tri-fold card, then had a template that would cut out the pocket for the rsvp card.

She also gave me the opportunity to take my flower making to a new level, and asked me to make her bouquet (and the bridesmaid's bouquets, and the boutonnieres). She asked me months before I needed to even start planning, but I had plans in my mind minutes later. This is the bridal bouquet (made with white spiral roses, and forget-me-nots which she personally requested).

I'm hoping to add custom wedding bouquets to my shop this summer. It was so much fun to make all of these. And the best part is I get to keep one since I'm a bridesmaid!